{"id":796,"date":"2024-08-20T10:36:10","date_gmt":"2024-08-20T10:36:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ubershop.biz\/?p=796"},"modified":"2024-08-21T10:37:13","modified_gmt":"2024-08-21T10:37:13","slug":"12-women-on-their-last-breakup-before-they-met-the-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ubershop.biz\/index.php\/2024\/08\/20\/12-women-on-their-last-breakup-before-they-met-the-one\/","title":{"rendered":"12 Women On Their Last Breakup Before They Met The One"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\tBreakups. We\u2019ve watched the movies. Read the books. Wept ugly tears at the songs. It’s not new to us. The days of not being able to stomach food or close your eyes to fall asleep for fear that your mind will replay a highlights reel of every<\/a>t<\/a>hing that went wrong<\/a>, of feeling like your heart has hardened into such a gnarled and twisted root that it will stay that way forever. Then a day passes, and another. And eventually, lying in bed one day, you realize it\u2019s not the first thing you thought about when you woke up or the last thing you thought about before you fell asleep. A day passes when you don\u2019t even think about them at all.<\/p>\n

Time and introspection play a valuable role in helping us move on and heal<\/a> from a decimated relationship. But knowing this doesn\u2019t make it any easier when we’re going through a breakup.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What can help (as well as an enraged group of supportive friends) are the experiences of other people, which have always served as a jumping-off point for our own epiphanies, realizations, and healing. We learn so much about life, love, and ourselves when a relationship ends. And it is comforting to think, there are other people who went through what I\u2019m going through, and they are okay.<\/p>\n

Refinery29 spoke to 12 women about the last breakup they had before they met their current partner, what it taught them, and what came next. <\/p>\n

How long ago was your last breakup and how long were you together?<\/strong>
About two years. We were together for a little under a year.<\/p>\n

When did you realize that things were ending?
<\/strong>I knew things were ending when I could no longer tolerate the behaviors I made excuses for prior. When he stopped putting in effort to make things work and real effort to be present at all.<\/p>\n

What did the breakup teach you?<\/strong>
It taught me that even though I tried so hard to be relaxed about things, I do have non-negotiables in my relationships. A big one being I cannot be with someone who stays at home with their parents and relies on them financially and has no plans of moving out or pursuing a career to sustain their own life at 25+ years old. That breakup also taught me not to delay the cutting of ties and to trust my instincts. It taught me to listen to my wants and needs and move with those in mind first before overthinking how they might affect the other person.<\/p>\n

How long afterwards did you meet your current partner and how long have you been together now?
<\/strong>I actually met my current partner while I was still in my last relationship and we have been together going on two years now.\u00a0
<\/strong>
Advice for anyone going through a breakup right now?
<\/strong>Advice that I would give to us twentysomethings navigating this tricky dating pool, especially those of us who haven’t grown up around healthy relationships, is to first trust yourself. Feelings may not always be fact but the anxiety your body feels is very telling. Second, find hobbies and dedicate time to finding new things to love about life. The biggest advice that I can give is to understand that just because things don\u2019t work out, does not mean that it is a failed relationship. Things sometimes just do not work out and that\u2019s okay. Companionship and partnership will find you and embrace you in the ways you need most.<\/p>\n

Alexis, 23<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

How long ago was your\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0and how long were you together?<\/strong>My\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0was in 2013 and we were together for one year.<\/p>\n

When did you realize that things were ending?<\/strong>
I was in LA for two months during our relationship and he would purposely interact with women on Twitter he had been sexually involved with in the\u00a0past\u00a0to try to piss me off. I remember sitting under the beautiful morning sun in a stunning garden, surrounded by nature, and I was confronting him on video call about his behavior online and how it made me feel. His response was “I wanted you to miss me.” That made me realize that I didn’t need that shit in my life, especially when abroad for projects and self-development. I thought to myself, wait, why am I with someone who purposely makes me feel like this? I’m sitting in a beautiful country, having breakfast under the sun and I’m dealing with this drama that is so unnecessary.<\/p>\n

What did the\u00a0breakup\u00a0teach you?<\/strong>
I actually surprised myself with this\u00a0breakup\u00a0because I encouraged myself to move on from him (in 10 days to be exact). He ended\u00a0up\u00a0cheating on me towards the end of our relationship and that was a pivotal moment in my life where I learned to shift that energy and focus on myself. I remember waking\u00a0up\u00a0after my 10th\u00a0day of crying and I jumped out of bed and said to myself, I’m done, <\/em>I don’t want to feel like this anymore.<\/p>\n

How long afterwards did you meet your current partner and how long have you been together now?<\/strong>
I met my current partner in 2009 when I first moved to London. This was way before I was involved in that previous relationship!\u00a0We were friends first, but got together in 2017 when we had to train for a competition in Portugal, and everything just fell into place.\u00a0We’ve been together six years now\u00a0(two years engaged) and he is honestly my best friend.<\/p>\n

Advice for anyone going through a\u00a0breakup\u00a0right now?<\/strong>
Love yourself and take care of yourself first.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Lucy, 31<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

How long ago was your last breakup and how long were you together?<\/strong>
Two years ago. We were together for four years.<\/p>\n

When did you realize that things were ending? <\/strong>
As we got older, I realized I was never going to be happy in a marriage with this person.<\/p>\n

What did the breakup teach you? <\/strong>
A romantic relationship should not consume your life \u2014 friendships and family and work relationships should be important to you because love comes in many forms (and your partner should want you to nurture these other relationships). <\/p>\n

How long afterwards did you meet your current partner and how long have you been together now?<\/strong>
A year and a half after. We’ve been together for five months. <\/p>\n

Advice for anyone going through a breakup right now? <\/strong>
Be honest with yourself and the people around you about your feelings, and focus on yourself. Say yes to experiences with other people and new friends \u2014 it will help you realize there\u2019s a lot more to life than this person and this relationship.<\/p>\n

Kira, 26<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

How long ago was your last breakup and how long were you together?<\/strong>\u00a0
About seven years ago and we were together for seven months.<\/p>\n

When did you realize that things were ending?<\/strong>\u00a0
Honestly, I was completely blindsided by it\u00a0but when I look back I can see the signs. It was her first real relationship with a woman and she had a lot to figure out about herself still. I should have known when four or so months in, I told her I loved her and instead of responding, she\u00a0turned over, fell asleep, and then we didn’t speak for 24 hours (she never said it back). Then, about a month before we broke up, she told me she wanted to try opening up our relationship. I’m a deeply monogamous person,\u00a0but I loved her so I said I would\u00a0try. I saw a sex therapist to discuss what I would want from an open relationship and I put together a whole document of how I could feel comfortable being open. I presented the document to her and she didn’t like that I wanted to have rules for our open relationship. By the end of the conversation, she had broken up with me. Over the next month, I found out that she had already started seeing other people\/hooking up with other people before she even broached the conversation of being open. Maybe I should have known when she constantly wanted to go out dancing with her friends and I wasn’t invited, but I (very naively) trusted her.<\/p>\n

What did the breakup teach you?\u00a0<\/strong>
I credit this shit show of a relationship for forcing me to be honest with myself about what I need in a relationship and also for teaching me that I really needed to stop being a doormat in my relationships. After this breakup, I took a few months to recuperate and then entered the\u00a0dating world again, knowing I had a few non-negotiables for my\u00a0next relationship. I needed my next partner to be emotionally intelligent, comfortable in their queerness, and excellent at communication. I also really needed to date someone monogamous.<\/p>\n

How long afterwards did you meet your current partner and how long have you been together now?\u00a0<\/strong>
I met my now wife about six months after my last breakup and we’ve been together for six years.<\/p>\n

Advice for anyone going through a breakup right now?\u00a0<\/strong>
My first piece of advice is to let yourself feel sad for as long as you need. Everyone heals at different speeds and there’s no right answer for how long it takes to get over someone. My second piece of advice is to let every breakup be a lesson. Look at why the relationship didn’t work and be brutally honest with yourself in every future relationship. If you’re seeing a pattern in your partners that isn’t working for you, then take a look inward. Don’t settle for less than what you need; you deserve happiness.<\/p>\n

Sadie, 30<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

How long ago was your\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0and how long were you together?<\/strong>
My\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0was my divorce. I was married for five years and it ended three years ago.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When did you realize that things were ending?<\/strong>
I realized my relationship was ending when we were no longer aligned on anything. There were constant misunderstandings and arguments and then one day choosing not to fight became the more peaceful choice.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What did the\u00a0breakup\u00a0teach you? <\/strong>My\u00a0breakup\u00a0(divorce) isn\u2019t what most would consider normal. We ended things quite peacefully and even had breakfast together after the divorce went through. What this taught me was that even though a chapter was closing for me, as sad as it seemed in the moment, there was also this understanding that when you know it\u2019s time to let go, it\u2019s okay to let go. Not comparing his life to mine, also helped me move on peacefully with time.\u00a0<\/p>\n

How long afterwards did you meet your current partner and how long have you been together now?<\/strong>
I didn\u2019t start dating until two and a half years later. My current partner and I are going nine months strong.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Advice for anyone going through a\u00a0breakup\u00a0right now?<\/strong>
Please, please, please do not compare yourself and your healing to your ex-partner’s. Your value is not diminished simply because your ex has moved on before you or vice versa, or by how whoever you think they\u2019ve moved on with compares to you. Whether you are compared better or worse, when you stop looking at it that way, you gain peace by accepting that each person deserves just as much happiness as you do.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Kristina, 33<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

How long ago was your\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0and how long were you together?<\/strong>
Three and a half years ago. We were together for two and a half years.<\/p>\n

When did you realize that things were ending?<\/strong>
I realized things were ending when I finally learned how to love myself and see our relationship for what it really was: toxic. I excused my partner’s abusive behavior over and over again when really I should have walked away at the first signs of manipulation and abuse. When you\u2019re brought\u00a0up\u00a0with unhealthy relationships at home, it makes you think that particular behaviors are normal. It took me a lot of time and therapy to see that all I really needed was to love myself to see that their behavior was so far from what I deserved.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

What did the\u00a0breakup\u00a0teach you?<\/strong>
Always trust your gut and trust your friends \u2014 they\u2019re right 99% of the time. Most importantly, never settle for anything less than what you deserve.\u00a0<\/p>\n

How long afterwards did you meet your current partner and how long have you been together now?<\/strong>
My current partner and I were friends in secondary school and dated previously, on and off. He was there for me as a friend when my ex and I broke\u00a0up\u00a0and something just clicked. It\u2019s been three years now.<\/p>\n

Advice for anyone going through a\u00a0breakup\u00a0right now?<\/strong>
Every\u00a0breakup\u00a0is a lesson. You will go through feeling really low, feeling invincible and feeling nothing. You just have to feel it all. After all the hard work, you always come out of it as a stronger version of yourself.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Martha*, 28<\/em><\/p>\n

*Name changed to protect their identity<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

How long ago was your\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0and how long were you together?<\/strong>
My\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0was over five years ago. We were together for six months and had been friends for years before. I left my\u00a0previous\u00a0partner of five years to be with them. They told me that they wanted to be with me, even though I was in a relationship already. I had always found them so attractive and I was flattered by their attention.
\u00a0
When did you realize that things were ending?<\/strong>
Things slowly turned as we started dating. They became critical of how I looked, my opinions, and my career. They never acted like this when we were friends, it was as if now I was their partner, I wasn\u2019t good enough. It reached a peak when they started making plans to move abroad and said they didn\u2019t want me to come with them. I ended the relationship and they asked if I would continue having sex with them until they moved abroad. Hard pass.<\/p>\n

What did the\u00a0breakup\u00a0teach you?<\/strong>
I stayed single for a long time and spent time learning about my self-worth and self-esteem. I also took a hard look at my own judgments and what I valued about other partners. I realized I had been chasing people who I felt were out of my league instead of respecting myself.<\/p>\n

How long afterwards did you meet your current partner and how long have you been together now?<\/strong>
I met my current partner\u00a0last\u00a0summer on Hinge (there is still hope on the apps!). They are supportive and remind me constantly of why they value me and our relationship. I find their excitement about life, their intelligence, and their respect for me so attractive. They are also physically attractive, but I now value more than just physical looks.<\/p>\n

Advice for anyone going through a\u00a0breakup\u00a0right now?<\/strong>
Be curious about what the\u00a0breakup\u00a0has taught you about yourself.\u00a0It wasn\u2019t my fault that my ex was so disrespectful, but I did stay longer than I should have.<\/p>\n

Lindsay, 35<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

How long ago was your\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0and how long were you together? <\/strong>
We were together for around nine months. It was way back in 2011 and honestly, I think I’ve blocked out most memories of that time from my brain.<\/p>\n

When did you realize that things were ending? <\/strong>
I remember one day I\u00a0had diarrhea and I told my mom about it, and later that day she asked me how\u00a0my tummy was feeling in front of him. I was mortified that he would judge me for that. My mom told me if\u00a0I still feel uncomfortable talking about these types of things with my partner, it’s not going to work out in the long\u00a0run.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What did the\u00a0breakup\u00a0teach you? <\/strong>
If your whole family and all of your friends don’t like your boyfriend, it’s probably because he’s not a great guy.\u00a0<\/p>\n

How long afterwards did you meet your current partner and how long have you been together now? <\/strong>
I met\u00a0him around a\u00a0year later (after a\u00a0short hot girl era) and we have been together for 10 years now.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Advice for anyone going through a\u00a0breakup\u00a0right now? <\/strong>
I’m a fan of the cold turkey \u2014 cut off all contact!<\/p>\n

Abigail, 29<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

How long ago was your\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0and how long were you together? <\/strong>
We broke\u00a0up\u00a0six years ago and we were together for nearly three years.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When did you realize that things were ending? <\/strong>
It ended because I found out he was cheating on me. It\u2019s actually the funniest way I\u2019ve ever found out someone\u2019s cheated on me. Basically, for months prior I was getting really anxious because he kept liking other girls’ pictures on Instagram. He was totally gaslighting me by telling me that it was happening by accident when he was scrolling through Instagram and that I was being an idiot for even worrying. <\/p>\n

Anyway, this guy was also a musician who played with some singer who had a live appearance on a BBC show. He was at the BBC, about to go on, and I was at home playing Sims<\/em> on his laptop while he was out. A message came\u00a0up\u00a0on his laptop from a girl that I recognized as one of these girls whose photos he had sworn he\u2019d only accidentally liked. I\u2019m not one to pry but I kind of had to and so I clicked on it and it took me to his Facebook messages, where there were so many messages between him and hundreds of women. <\/p>\n

He often went on tour for half of the year and he basically tried to pull every time he got off that tour bus. I called him and he was about three minutes from having to go live on TV and I just dropped that I\u2019d read his Facebook and he must have shit a brick. He was trying to log me out while being ushered on stage. I called my best friend and tuned into BBC1 to watch him live on TV, knowing he wasn\u2019t able to log me out of his Facebook before being forced on stage (his friends actually made a hilarious meme of a screenshot of him playing live, looking unwell). He came home and I\u2019d already packed\u00a0up\u00a0my stuff, saved my Sims<\/em> game to the cloud, gone home, and that was it!\u00a0<\/p>\n

What did it teach me?\u00a0<\/strong>
I only really realized how bad a boyfriend and friend he was when I met my current boyfriend. It’s sad but I can\u2019t say he was the first boyfriend that treated me terribly. It was a case of being really insecure from being hurt badly once before and then also being in my 20s. Don’t get me wrong, this guy made me laugh, took me to lots of gigs, and had fun friends. It was a good time. But he wasn\u2019t convincing me that he was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with because, looking back, he was totally obsessed with himself. He never asked me how I was doing or how my day was. If I started to talk about something happening at work, his eyes would glaze over and he\u2019d be glancing over at the game on the TV behind me. He didn’t really care about me at all.<\/p>\n

How long afterwards did you meet your current partner and how long have you been together now?<\/strong>
I\u2019ve been with my current boyfriend for about four years and we met a year and a half after my and I ex broke\u00a0up. I found it incredibly uncomfortable at the beginning that he had a genuine interest in me \u2014 basic things like asking me how my day was and actually caring was really weird to me. He wanted to actually hang out with me on the weekends and go and do stuff together. I feel my current boyfriend taught me how to be treated properly. The way my ex treated me was\u00a0up\u00a0and down. It’s often an addictive cycle, where you\u2019re chasing the next high, and it\u2019s pretty draining. I think I learned that just having a consistent treatment without these peaks and valleys is more sustainable for a relationship.<\/p>\n

Advice for someone going through a\u00a0breakup?\u00a0<\/strong>
After a\u00a0breakup,\u00a0you feel like it is the end of the world. I would always ask myself, in five years will I still feel like this? The answer has always been no. Even though five years sounds like a long time, it just gives clarity that what you\u2019re feeling in that moment is not going to\u00a0last\u00a0forever, though it often feels that way. I also don\u2019t think anyone will listen to advice and act on it. When has anyone had a friend that has a shitty boyfriend and listened to your advice that they should\u00a0break\u00a0up\u00a0with them? Never going to happen. People need to go through it themselves and you just have to meet them on the other side. Going through a\u00a0breakup\u00a0sucks but week two is always better than week one and week three always better than week two. In a blink of an eye, it\u2019s been a few months and you\u2019re probably on to the next thing.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Nazli, 30<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

How long ago was your\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0and how long were you together?<\/strong>
My\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0was six years ago and we’d been together for five years.<\/p>\n

When did you realize that things were ending?<\/strong>
We’d had a really rocky year beforehand when I’d found out I’d be moving to another country for medical school. I was so sure we’d be absolutely fine because we’d always thought we’d get married and had so many plans for the future. Plus I was only moving an hour (by plane) away so although I knew it would be hard, I thought we’d make loads of time for one another. That lead-up\u00a0ended\u00a0up\u00a0revealing so many insecurities from him about our relationship and I started to realize we had very different ideas about what a relationship meant, different values, and different goals for the future. I think my taking a big step in my career made us strangely competitive and he never seemed proud of me. Sadly, all of the arguing just made us more distant and slowly I started to realize we weren’t willing to put the same kind of effort in. Much to my surprise, one day we had a really silly argument (about breakfast) and that’s when I ended it.<\/p>\n

What did the\u00a0breakup\u00a0teach you?<\/strong>
Between the\u00a0breakup\u00a0with the man I thought I’d marry and the stress of moving to another country and doing the most intense studying of my life, I decided to start therapy. This was genuinely the best decision I ever made.<\/p>\n

I realized I actually really struggled with being emotionally vulnerable and honest with another person. What I thought was me being radically truthful, was actually defensiveness and anxiety. Because of the way we had argued, my self-esteem was so low after and I had internalized loads of ideas about not being good enough and not being able to maintain a serious relationship.<\/p>\n

Therapy helped me spend time with my own internal world, quiet that negative voice, and really get to know myself. From that, I could understand what I wanted in a partner and how I could be more open to receiving love.\u00a0<\/p>\n

How long afterwards did you meet your current partner and how long have you been together now?<\/strong>
I genuinely believe I manifested my current partner. It was about two years after my\u00a0breakup\u00a0and by writing down the aspects of myself I valued and loved, I was able to also think about these aspects in someone else. About three months later, we met (or more accurately, re-met as we’d been friends for about eight years prior) and we fell in love pretty quickly. We’ve been together three years now and although sometimes those same insecurities or fears of vulnerability come\u00a0up\u00a0in me, he’s so understanding and reassuring that I feel so secure.<\/p>\n

Advice for anyone going through a\u00a0breakup\u00a0right now?<\/strong>
Spend time with yourself, let yourself feel the feelings when they come\u00a0up,\u00a0and grieve the loss. Once you’re ready, think about why it ended and whether it was truly the right relationship for you. Reassess what you want your future to look like, and who would be the right person to join you for the journey.<\/p>\n

The weird thing about\u00a0breakups\u00a0is even though they mostly suck, they re-expand your world. When you’re with someone else you meld into each other’s plans, but when you’re single you get to dream big. You can take that new job, move to a new country, do that new thing! And because life is funny, the second you start to feel amazing again, some new person will come into your life that’ll throw you off balance and make you think about taking that dive again. But this time you’ll be well-equipped for the right person.<\/p>\n

Caroline, 32<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

How long ago was your\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0and how long were you together?<\/strong>My\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0was almost two years ago and we were together for five years.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When did you realize that things were ending?<\/strong>
During lockdown, we took some time to visit our families separately. We went almost an entire week without speaking on the phone or texting. We would ultimately spend three months physically separated, only talking on the phone a\u00a0handful\u00a0of times. By the time we reunited, it was obvious that there was nothing between us anymore (mostly physically, as we still enjoyed being around each other as friends). We also weren’t moving forward \u2014 we had no plans to move in together, spend quality time together, or take the next steps as partners.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What did the\u00a0breakup\u00a0teach you?<\/strong>
My relationship had so many ups and downs,\u00a0no communication, and major needs not being met. I learned that I can’t make someone love me in the way I want to be loved. It needs to happen naturally. I was always bending over backward to mold to his way of being in a relationship, and in return, I was harsh to him and pushed him away. Looking back, it’s so clear we should have just been friends but it’s difficult to see that when you’re attracted to the person and also invest so much emotional energy into something. After a few years, your lives become so intertwined and it’s hard to\u00a0break\u00a0up\u00a0so you just stay in it and wait for the spark to come back.\u00a0<\/p>\n

How long afterwards did you meet your current partner and how long have you been together now?<\/strong>
I had told myself I was going to be single for a year. Famous\u00a0last\u00a0words. My current partner and I met about six months after my\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0and have been together a year and a half and happily living together for a year.
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Advice for anyone going through a\u00a0breakup\u00a0right now?<\/strong>
Breakups\u00a0teach you so much. It’s a hard transition, of course, but after each one,\u00a0you learn more about your needs, your boundaries, and your goals. It’s totally fine to be a mess, to cry and be in pain, but eventually, it’ll subside. For me, it became so clear that I wanted a house, I wanted a family, I wanted someone to build towards a future with me, and I found that in my current partner.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Nicole, 32<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

How long ago was your\u00a0last\u00a0breakup\u00a0and how long were you together?<\/strong>
My last breakup was in 2019 and we were together for two years. I didn’t intend on it lasting as long as it did to begin with, which was part of the problem.<\/p>\n

When did you realise that things were ending?<\/strong>
I knew my ex-boyfriend wasn\u2019t the one, but I was too scared of hurting him that I didn\u2019t help myself. That was worse.<\/p>\n

It was college; we were having fun, and things felt light and easy; it wasn\u2019t meant to be serious. And then his dad died in the middle of my senior year. By the end of senior year, I really knew I didn\u2019t want to continue sliding into the future with him, but I also didn\u2019t want to break his heart while he was already grieving. So I stayed.<\/p>\n

I moved states after graduation to figured out my post-grad life and a post-grad job. I intended to go back, eventually. Maybe. A few days after I moved, I received a text message from one of my old roommates. It read something like, \u201cI am so incredibly sorry, but I just found your boyfriend on Tinder.\u201d<\/p>\n

I was relieved. It was an easy out. I broke up with him. I stayed in my new state. I swore off dating.<\/p>\n

What did the\u00a0breakup\u00a0teach you?<\/strong>
My last breakup taught me that there\u2019s never good timing to end a relationship, the best time is when you no longer want to be in it anymore. I was so worried about making things worse for him that I didn\u2019t realise me staying with him even, though I didn\u2019t want to be, was maybe the cruelest thing I could have done.<\/p>\n

How long afterwards did you meet your current partner and how long have you been together now?<\/strong>
A week or two later, I met a boy.<\/p>\n

He had also just gotten out of a long-term relationship, and neither of us wanted anything serious. We were meant to be just friends but we couldn\u2019t stop seeing each other.<\/p>\n

This time, the non-relationship relationship felt light and easy in a different way. I never wanted to not be with him. Then we started dating. Then he moved states, and I moved to him. And then we got engaged, and now we\u2019re getting married in the spring. It’s been five years.
\u00a0
Advice for anyone going through a\u00a0breakup\u00a0right now?<\/strong>
It\u2019s easy to get lost in the mindset of \u201cI\u2019m never going to meet anyone else\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ll be alone forever,\u201d but that\u2019s not true unless you want it to be. Focus your energy on loving yourself, getting into good routines, finding health and balance and real, kind, and supportive friendships, and the rest will fall into place. My mom always told me that true love comes when you\u2019re not looking for it, to which I would always roll my eyes. She was right. As always.<\/p>\n

Chloe, 28<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

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Breakups. We\u2019ve watched the movies. Read the books. Wept ugly tears at the songs. It’s not new to us. The […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ubershop.biz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/796"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ubershop.biz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ubershop.biz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ubershop.biz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ubershop.biz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=796"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ubershop.biz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/796\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":797,"href":"https:\/\/ubershop.biz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/796\/revisions\/797"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ubershop.biz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=796"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ubershop.biz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=796"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ubershop.biz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=796"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}